Hope in your future.

Recently brokenhearted...and currently healing from a broken heart and shattered hope I am learning about God's deep love and care for me through this hardship. It's been 10 days since my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up with me (for the umpteenth time). I had prayed and waited and striven for the love I longed to have from my boyfriend. I had tried to be everything to him. There is not one thing I can think of that I did not do for this man and yet it was not good enough. We started going to couples counseling a few months ago and I had learned in the sessions that the issues that he had with me and our relationship really had nothing to do with me at all. I realized with time that there was NOTHING I could do to show him I loved him. He was not receiving it. It broke my heart and that I couldn't make him happy. This made me think of how God must feel when we refuse to receive His love for us. He has done EVERYTHING for us and yet we get in the way and think it's not enough. Our lack of faith and trust in the plans that God has for us slowly lead us down a long, painful, agonizing path to death. How painful it must be for God to watch His children suffer unnecessarily. He had already provided a way for us to have Life (Jesus Christ). We are already healed by His wounds (Isaiah 53:5). Yet our unbelief in Him and faith in His way for us cause us to suffer. How quickly we blame God for our suffering too! Initially, I was mad at God for not answering my prayers to change my boyfriend and restore our relationship. Then I realized that it was not God's doing but my own that got me here. I placed my hope, happiness and completion in my boyfriend. It devastated me when he was mad at me. I did everything I could to make him feel better. It didn't work. I learned that this is codependency. Through the help of a 12-step program I am learning how to recover from the dependency of another person. Above all, through my growing relationship with Jesus Christ I am receiving my healing that was made available 2000 years ago. I recite Jeremiah 29:11 throughout my day whenever feelings of despair creep in and attempt to dominate my emotions and ruin my day. "For I know the plans I have for you," Declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."